My friend Heather decided I had to have these fascinatingly grotesque little darlings — rubberized 3D models of airborne microbes. The green goober is the common cold. Can you guess the hairy fella? Yep, E. coli. Made by ThinkGeek (gotta love the name), these bouncy bugs also emit Whoopee Cushion-worthy sound effects–only sicker–when you pull on their tails and swing them around like a medieval flail. I know a lot of you will be finding some excuse to drop by my office now. Priority goes to those bearing premium dark chocolates.